Monday, November 12, 2018

Conversations from Southern Arizona




(Picture taken in 2015 when Opus was six months old.)


If you haven’t gathered already, we didn’t really fit in down south.

#1:  The Dog Park, Part One
On our first trip to the dog park, Opus stole a ball from a Labradoodle and would not return it.  Personally, I think if you bring a toy to the dog park you should be willing to lose it, but that’s just me.  In any event, the owner of Ubiquitous (name changed to protect the innocent) was quite upset.  Opus, of course, relished being asked for the ball and thought the whole thing was the Best Game Ever.  Eventually I retrieved it and returned it to the owner.  She was not happy, telling me that Ubiquitous only plays with that one ball.

I took Opus and River to the Big Dog side of the park in search of owners who weren’t so small.

The second day we arrived at the dog park, I came prepared with a squeaky ball.  Ubiquitous was there and, when his owner saw us coming, she picked up his ball.  Opus was busy chasing his own ball for a few minutes so Ubiquitous’ owner decided to continue her game of fetch.

Opus stole Ubiquitous’ ball. 

The owner shuffled around after him.

Best Game Ever, Round Two. 

UB’s owner was extremely unhappy this time, she slowly stormed up to me and said:

               “Your dog stole Ubiquitous’ ball again and won’t give it back.”

               “Sorry about that, would you like Opus’ ball to play with for awhile?”

               “Ubiquitous will not play with any other ball.  He gets quite upset if he cannot have his ball.  And I have to leave.”

               “Well chasing Opus doesn’t work so here’s $5 for your ball.  When I get it back, I’ll leave it at the entrance so you can have your original ball as well.”

               “I don’t want your money, that is not the point.  That is Ubiquitous’ toy, not yours.”

Silence.  Not much else I can say or do at this point without being rude.  What I wanted to say was, “If you want to let your feelings about a dog toy determine how you experience life there is really nothing I can do.”

               “I’m just going to leave!  Ubiquitous!  Let’s go!  Oh, where are you Ubiquitous?  Ubiquitous!”

Ubiquitous was laying in the shade, next to Opus, they were happily chewing on each other’s toys.  (I grant you that "balls" would have been the funnier noun on which to end the sentence but I just couldn't do it.)

***

#2:  The Grocery Store
Walking to the check-out counter at the cramped but quaint Tubac Grocery, I heard,

               “Sir, I can help you over here.”

Then,

               “Oh, sorry Ma’am, I can help you over here Hon.”

Realizing she was speaking to me I replied,

               “I would rather you called me Sir.”

***

#3:  Time to Go
The day before my departure, I went to the front desk to return my laundry card.  I was happy to see the lady who had originally checked me in; she was fun, quick-witted and closer to my age than anyone for a few miles.  Maybe a few hundred miles.

               “Hello again, I am here to return the laundry card to you—there is some money left on it, enough for one load anyway.”

               “Well that’s very kind of you”, she began, then hesitated, took a breath, leaned back in her chair and continued, “I just have to ask…what are you doing here?”

I laughed—how could I not?  I had been wondering the same thing for a week.  

She continued, “You know, everyone here is talking about you, we are all wondering what you are doing here.”  She said this in a very kind and interested tone—but it was still funny as hell.

               “Well I am mostly here to see some friends but I was also checking out the area as a possible winter home.”

               “But you are leaving on Sunday, right?”
              
More laughter. 

               “Oh yes, I am leaving on Sunday.”

***

#4:  The Dog Park, Part Two
On my way out of town Sunday, I stopped by the dog park to let the Noses have a good run before our long day in the car.  Ubiquitous’ owner saw us coming and picked up his toy.  Unfortunately, there was another Labradoodle, let’s call him Ubiquitous II, with the same intriguing ball.

Within five minutes Opus had UB2’s ball and three people chasing him around trying to get it back.  Best Game Ever, Round Three.   I told them chasing doesn’t work but they ignored me.  At this point, I just decided to let it all play out.   Plus it was cute the way Opus would get down on his front legs, his butt in the air, tail wagging furiously as people, their brows knitted furiously, tried to bend over and grab the ball. 

Eventually the owner of UB2 came up to me.

               “You know, we really have to leave and your dog won’t give UB2 back his ball.”

               “I am sorry about that, here’s $5 for your ball, when I get it back I’ll leave it at the entrance so you can have the original back tomorrow.”  A sentence that just never gets old.

               “It’s not about the money, it just that UB2 won’t understand if he has to leave without his ball.  He’ll be depressed.”

               “He seems interested in Opus’ ball, you are welcome to take that with you.”

               “That just won’t work.  I am telling you he will not understand having to leave without his ball.”

Frankly, at this point I wanted to leave as well so I decided to go play with Opus until he gave me UB2’s ball.  I ran down the side of the park, Opus quickly followed in his joyful lope, we played a bit of tag, I asked him to give up the toy and he dropped it.  I picked it up, walked with it and Opus’ ball to the exit where UB2’s owners were waiting.

               “Oh thank you!” as I turned over their ball.

               “You are welcome.”  I moved away from the gate so they could take UB2, who was sure to be bursting with happiness and understanding, home. 

Except that UB2 followed me:  He would not go with his owners and his precious ball. 

UB2 wanted Opus’ ball.

Eventually his owners came over, grabbed his collar and pulled him to the exit.  I have to admit, I did laugh at that point.

***

As we climbed into Wurzig, River quickly falling asleep in her bed and Opus staring up at me from the floorboard of the passenger seat with a look that said, “Admit it, you liked that as much as I did”, I said, “Well Noses, we came, we saw, we rocked their world.”

And then people for miles around were happy to see us exit the parking area towing a travel trailer.  Maybe a few hundred miles.


-K

No comments:

Post a Comment

A Speck on a Dot on a Marble in the Sky

  To J. Garmin: May your adventures in retirement be as vast and magnificent as your dedication to healing; safe travels, my friend. Greetin...